How do you say “Randy Moss traded” in Czech?


By Mary Paoletti

What the hell?

I leave the country for six days and the NFL blows up: the Rams committed suicide by Mark Clayton's hand (leg), another one bit the dust in Green Bay, and Brett Favre just...I can't even...whatever.

Then there was Moss.

I found out via email. Imagine my shock when, browsing my inbox from the Czech Republic, this Patriots bombshell landed on my head:

"Randy Moss traded because he told Tom Brady his haircut made him look like a girl."

I flailed a little. Randy and Tommy had a coiffure confrontation? It was reported by Charley Casserly as a serious news story so it had to be true. But, for Moss to leave because of it? It was though everything I knew about the Patriots was turned on its unkempt head.

And I was helpless -- off the NFL beat and in Prague with the Boston Bruins. I wasn't just outside of the loop, I couldn't even see the loop.

Getting filled in on the details has been a nightmare. This is the chronology I've got:

Famous Boston fan, Bill Simmons, heard about the hair fight and misinterpreted the whole thing. It sounds like the Sports Guy got bad info and walked away thinking that Brady told Moss he was trying to emulate Randy's Minnesota 'fro.

Simmons then tweeted this analytical explanation-- "moss vikings" -- to his 1,265,832 followers.

People went bananas. More misinterpretations were spawned from the original story mutilation. At the end of the day it was assumed that New England TRADED Randy Moss to Minnesota.

Chaos and confusion ensued around the globe!

The Bruins were totally lost.

I understand that this is when things really escalated. The Patriots and Vikings were so embarrassed that an ESPN something-or-other caused such a firestorm that they dealt Randy for real just to feed the beast.

This is what happened, right? I mean, reporters wouldn't make up stories or lie about tweeting intentions just for the attention. Right?

It's got to be an international miscommunication. I'm confident that I"ll figure out the real story today.

Better check Sports Pickle.

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