Curran: 17 games, 17 subplots for the Patriots' 2023 schedule

There’s an obvious hook to every single matchup, every single week. When the Patriots play the Jets in 2023? It’s Bill Belichick vs. Aaron Rodgers. Obbbbbbviously!

But there are myriad subplots in every game, from on-field matchups to coaching staff familiarity to the ever-intriguing Revenge Game.

With the 2023 NFL schedule out, let’s go a little beyond the main plotline to the most delicious subplot for each game -- HEALTH PROVIDING!

Week 1: Philadelphia Eagles at Patriots

One amusing, non-game subplot will be the honoring of Tom Brady. What’s that entail? Does Brady agree to sign a symbolic one-day contract to "retire a Patriot"? (I’m still betting no for a couple reasons.) How bitterly disgusted is Bill Belichick with the Brady retrospective dog-and-pony show while the team is trying to start a new season?

Perry's game-by-game predictions for Patriots' 2023 schedule

Game-wise? How do the Patriots deal with the Eagles' rugby scrum offense on third and fourth downs? Because that play fascinated me. Also, Eagles double agent Matt Patricia will be on the sideline.

"Matt, can you tell us about Mac Jones?"

"Honestly guys, he was pretty bad when I coached him."

"Right. That’s part of the reason you’re with us… never mind."

Week 2: Miami Dolphins at Patriots (Sunday Night Football)

This is a nice start for the Patriots brand, one hopes. Sunday Night Football activity a week after the Brady hoo-ha the week before. A chance to show off whatever the hell the new lighthouse arrangement is they’ve been working on.

But the more intriguing subplot is dealing with a Miami defense retooled by the highly-respected Vic Fangio, who joined the Dolphins as their defensive coordinator.

Week 3: Patriots at New York Jets

Understand this about the 2022 Jets. They scored 28 touchdowns all year. They didn’t break 10 points in their last three games. They scored 20 or fewer in 11 games. Aaron Rodgers isn’t coming in to take them to elite. He’s gotta get those kids to average first. And if the first two weeks for A-a-ron aren't ELECTRIC, it will be interesting to observe what kind of mood he’s in when Week 3 begins.

Having already played the Bills and Cowboys and with the Chiefs waiting after the Pats, this will be a big 'un for Robert Saleh's team.

Week 4: Patriots at Dallas Cowboys

Robert Kraft and Jerry Jones have 162 combined years on the planet and a dozen billion combined dollars to their names. They’ve been the league’s most influential owners for going on 35 years. Both may not be bringing the heat the way they did a decade ago, but they still have at least a Greg Maddux fastball most days.

This could be the final time the two men are up, active and aboot when their teams meet. It bears more than passing mention.

Week 5: New Orleans Saints at Patriots

After not having seen a stiff quarterback for the first four weeks, the Saints and Derek Carr come to Foxboro. Carr, of course, is the ultimate two-face, which is kinda why he now plays for the Saints and not the Raiders with Josh McDaniels on an eternal search for beauty. So the subplot in this one is simple. Ugly Derek? Or pretty Derek?

Week 6: Patriots at Las Vegas Raiders

Josh McDaniels is the obvious headliner here. Unless you want to point to the marriage of Josh and Jimmy Garoppolo going against the combo of Bill O’Brien and Mac Jones.

Jim is the one that got away for Bill Belichick. Which is probably for the best given the injury misfortunes Glass Jim’s had to deal with. But Mac was the, "OK, he’ll do…" option for the Patriots, and while Jones did just fine with McDaniels here, he didn’t do so good when Bill decided to not give him someone who WAS AN EXPERIENCED OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR!!!! Ahem.

Week 7: Buffalo Bills at Patriots

Six games in, Christian Gonzalez should by this point be ready to trot out there against a talented player like Stefon Diggs. Gonzalez might get pantsed here and there, but can he run with him, change direction with him and play physically with him?

Also, the Bills are rolling with tight ends Dalton Kincaid and Dawson Knox. Can the strong part of the Patriots defense -- its safety group -- deal with that duo and Josh Allen’s running?

Week 8: Patriots at Dolphins

Even though it’s late October, 1 o’clock in Miami still means it’s hot as ballpeen hammers out there. I have the Patriots at 4-3 heading into this game. Wins over Miami, the Jets, Vegas and New Orleans; losses to the Bills, at Dallas and the opener against Philly. The only soft chunk in the schedule comes after this game.

Has Tua made it to the middle of the season intact? Has Mac Jones thrown 12 touchdowns by now? Is any Patriot wideout on pace for 1,000 receiving yards? You tell me "yes" to the latter two questions, and the Patriots are winning in Miami.

Week 9: Washington Commanders at Patriots

The subplot here? This should be a team the Patriots can flex on. If they are who I think they’ll be, this game represents their first shot at a stiff quarterback (sorry Sam Howell … maybe I’ll eat my words). And against competition like that it should be easy pickings.

That’s the subplot to me: Do the Patriots play down to average-or-less competition? Or are they average themselves?

Week 10: Indianapolis Colts at Patriots (in Germany)

All the way to Germany to play Gardner Minshew (gesundheit)? Because that’s how I see this shaping up for Indy. The Colts lost seven straight to end their 2022, fired Frank Reich, hired Jeff Saturday and are now rebuilding under first-year coach Shane Steichen (former Eagles OC).

You should expect first-round pick Anthony Richardson’s gestation period as an NFL quarterback to still be ongoing. No reason to put a kid in the cauldron and get him into bad habits. So, raise your stein and have a good time. Patriots are 6-3.

Week 11: Bye

Subplot? Neatly timed bye before two homes games against beatables in the Giants and Steelers.

Week 12: Patriots at New York Giants

This is the sixth 1 p.m. game the Patriots have in their first 11 games. Belichick likes be a creature of habit and the schedule to this point will do that for him. The subplot here is whether Mac Jones is on the arc Daniel Jones was on before he got his offseason extension.

Daniel was meh in his two seasons with Joe Judge as Giants head coach. He got an offensive-minded head coach in Brian Daboll and -- BAM -- he turns into competent and the Giants had to pay him.

Can Mac show similar signs of life under Bill O’Brien? And will the Patriots decide to pick up Mac’s fifth-year option in less than a year or play it like the Giants did and make the kid perform? My guess: The latter.

Week 13: Los Angeles Chargers at Patriots

The Patriots have beaten the Chargers seven straight times going back to 2008. I thought their best win of 2021 was in L.A. on Halloween, 27-24. What I’ll be interested to see is the possible matchup between Christian Gonzalez and Chargers rookie wideout Quentin Johnston.

The 6-foot-4, 215-pounder went 21st overall in the draft, soon after New England selected Gonzalez. That’s the kind of player Gonzalez should be able to check. Meanwhile, the Chargers also have another treetop wideout in Mike Williams (6-foot-4, 218). The Patriots aren’t long on length at cornerback.

Week 14: Patriots at Pittsburgh Steelers (Thursday night)

Even this short-week game isn’t a grinder. Pittsburgh’s an easy jump for a Thursday Night Football matchup. The Patriots dispatched the Steelers pretty easily last year on the road in Week 2 during the brief period of, "Wow, maybe this Patricia thing might work?!?!" It did not.

This is another game that will test the mettle of the Patriots offensive line under new line coach Adrian Klemm. The Steelers ended last year with 40 sacks and that’s WITHOUT T.J. Watt for seven games. I have the Patriots at 9-4 and dropping jaws all over the sports-consuming landscape.

Week 15: Kansas City Chiefs at Patriots (Monday night)

Coming off a 10-day rest and getting KC to come to them? Perfect. Juju Smith-Schuster Revenge Game. If Juju isn’t at 50 catches by this point, then the move away from Jakobi Meyers was a misstep. And I don’t think Juju will be at 50.

Could this be the last matchup between Andy Reid and Bill Belichick? They’ve faced each other nine times, with Belichick’s Patriots winning six of them. So the subplot to watch in this is the two old salts matching gray matter one final time. Maybe.

Week 16: Patriots at Denver Broncos (Sunday night)

Christmas Eve in the Rockies. It’s the Patriots' third straight prime-time game and it’s Belichick vs. Sean Payton as the subplot du jour. Having lost to Kansas City, the Patriots are 9-5. By this time Belichick should have Don Shula’s record in sight for 2024.

A little comparison between the offensive minds will be in order this week as well, wondering whether Payton’s rehab of Russell Wilson has gone better than O’Brien’s fix-up on Mac.

Week 17: Patriots at Bills

New Year’s Eve in Western New York. My guess is that the Bills will need this one because I sense minor regression with that team. With everybody bunched up at the top of the AFC East and all four teams playoff eligible still, this is a chance for the Patriots and Belichick to kick the lid off the coffin the Bills thought they’d nailed down over the past two seasons.

Week 18: Jets at Patriots

Aaron Rodgers moping into the final game of his first year as a Jet. It hasn’t gone the way he hoped and he wonders why everyone thought he was supposed to be the savior anyway. The big subplot here is whether the Patriots win the division outright via tiebreaker by getting to 11-6 or whether they’ll need help to get in as a Wild Card with a loss.

Oh, and Mac needs a good game to sew up Comeback Player of the Year. He’s got 25 touchdowns, six picks and has thrown for 3,841 yards. Numbers nobody saw coming. Unless you read this back in May.