Free agency, the Facebook meme

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By Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

After a fun-filled weekend of swapping out profile pictures for those of childhood cartoon characters, the latest meme to hit Facebook is the numbers game. It's a gas for the MIT crowd.

The idea is one user opens the flood gates, asking friends to send a private message consisting of a number between one and something big. The original user then posts that number in a status update, adding hisher true thoughts of the person who picked the number. Thrilling, right?

The best is clogging up everyone's newsfeed with useless updates, 'Oh, 106, you're such a strong person'; '18, if you put your mind to it you can do anything'; and, rarely, 'My favorite part about you, 412, is, well, you always remember your first'.

Only two people are supposed to know the subject of each update. Hank Steinbrenner's doing it wrong:

Henry George
20042007, you pale bastard. Think you can outspend me, eh? Well guess who's calling Cliff Lee right now to match your seven-year deal. Might even get crazy and make it eight. Can't wait to see how he's hurling at 40. Sucker.

Henry George
Hey Cashman 419, fire up the printing press. Need to make some more hundos to sign Lee. And yes, I'm still very aware that printing our own money has an 'adverse effect on the economy and it's probably why the whole country's in this mess' blah blah blah. You act like inflation's a bad thing.

Henry George
Don't worry, 25, you still have a shot at being the All-Star starter. Think about it: you're definitely better than Adrian Gonzalez at unnecessarily puffing out your cheeks on every swing.

Henry George
Dad loved me more, 88.

Henry George
2, had to make it difficult, huh? Had to 'get yours?' Well the Red Sox just got theirs all over our turf. We're s'posed to be the ones who sign players to ridiculous contracts! It's written in the signature on all my e-mails:

Hank SteinbrennerSigner of Ridiculous Contracts

Some 'team guy' you are.

Henry George
13, just placed the order for a new shipment of Hamburger Helper gloves. Get pumped. Also, good to see you're putting in the work this offseason -- Beach, Tan, Laundry. Wish we could all be so satisfied with hitting .27030125 for 32 milli.

Henry George
160,000,000, sure hope you're our new No. 1 starter. Talked to CC and he's cool with it. And I instituted a new rule: Any fan talking bad to your wife gets the Gitmo treatment. Seriously, I bought a professional water boarder. Not a machine. Like, a guy who knows how to water board.

Henry George
You're our new No. 2 starter, 52. Kthanksbye.

Henry George
42, you sure know how to pick 'em. Junior will come out a highly learned man after four years at QU. With hard work he, too, could one day have 276 twitter followers. No joke.

Henry George
Hey, 44. I like your style. Thinking about firing Cashman. Gimme a ring. 'Cuz I've only got 27 -- ayo!

At least he's got Farmville down pat.

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